I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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