Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
