I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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