Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
BRING THE BAGELS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You are a genius and a whore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
