Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize