He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Even my vagina gasped.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
