The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize