Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
