oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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