I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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