I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize