i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
