you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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