CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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