If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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