he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
