If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
this hospital has no fireball
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
