One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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