Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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