I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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