I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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