i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
