I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
