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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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