I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
