"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
