I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just high enough for therapy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
