I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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