There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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