do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
handjob tips. give me some.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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