How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
