But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
