You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
