How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize