I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm too high and old for this...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize