roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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