Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
