I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
FUCK WHALES
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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