A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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