just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
