i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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