I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
