I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
