yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
