it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
