I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
