mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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