sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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