Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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