Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
