I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
