just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
