Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
