The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
