Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
